


The Stupid Things

by casliyn



Category: Veep (TV)
Genre: 7x06, F/M, Fix It, Missing Scene, Porn With/Without Feelings, Shameless Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-02-27 09:56:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18736732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casliyn/pseuds/casliyn
Summary: He's Dan fucking Egan.He could fuck whoever he wants, whenever he wants, and however, he wants.And considering the fact that Amy decided to look hot all of a sudden? (Well, she's always been hot to him but, the fact that she was just now embracing that was a miracle).He didn't even have to stay in the kitchen after their brief meeting to know that he had her practically dripping in her (Knowing her and her look now- thong) and the thought of that got him a little bit too hard.So, it only makes sense to fuck her, right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, here's the thing. 
> 
> After I spent time gathering my thoughts and handling my emotions from 7x06, I did what I normally do and decided to write a 6,000-word fanfic and write it all in one sitting, in one day, and stay up until late in the night to complete it because why the fuck not and nobody can tell me that I can't!
> 
> Hopefully, you enjoy this story, it's my recollection of what happened between Dan and Amy in this episode between the kitchen scene and dreaded funeral scene. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the story!

> _All I want to do is please you_  
>  _Please myself by living my life too_
> 
> _And all the stupid things I do_  
>  _Have absolutely no reflection on_  
>  _How I feel about you_
> 
> _-jesse mccartney, 'the stupid things'_
> 
> * * *

 

Why the fuck did Amy look so goddamn hot all of a sudden?

 

It's not like he had a problem with her new look if anything, he found himself a fan of the figure-hugging dress and curled hair wave she's found herself riding on (Well, a fan after the narrow-eyed Republicans who were practically salivating at the mouth with their wrinkled cocks in their hand who were avid supporters of the Jonah Ryan campaign)

 

It's just that it seemed...weird and not like her by any means. 

 

His Amy was always comfortable in her gray pencil skirt and basic cardigans, light makeup, and flats with her only accessory being her cellphone nestled in her hand. 

 

And now to see her all dolled up for fucking Jonah and his campaign made his stomach lurch in jealousy. 

 

He could only imagine how much shit they could've gotten done years ago had Amy started thinking with her brain and showed some skin every once in a while. 

 

(And had he even gone as far to even suggest she show just a bit more skin at work, there's no doubt in his mind that she would slap the ever-loving shit out of him).

 

And it doesn't help that the meeting between Valentine and Jonah runs off rails. It's not like Dan was expecting for the meeting to end with the solution to world peace or cancer (Because, well, _Jonah_ ) but at the same time had Jonah just done with any good politician would've done-get vaccinated and then run an antivax campaign, they wouldn't be dealing with this bullshit. 

 

Not to mention the fact that a man fucking died directly after the meeting, it's easy for Dan to understand why Valentine wasn't particularly impressed with whatever Jonah wasn't trying to prove to himself and everyone else. 

 

"Who was blondie with the nice ass?" Valentine had asked him directly after the meeting was over and they were back in Richard's office, going over their cluster-fuck of a meeting with Jonah.

 

If you were going to pass out in the midst of a political snowstorm, do the decent fucking thing and alert everyone before it happened-this was politics, okay? No one has the time, patience and or sensitivity for old crones to pass out whenever their heart was feeling a little funny.

 

Dan feels his chest tighten at that because of course, some old skeez like Valentine would think that Amy is all delectable and hot with her new makeover and everything. 

 

"That was Amy Brookheimer." Richard happily informs Valentine without skipping a beat, "She used to work for me, I mean, technically, I worked for her during my first stint at the white house. I believe it was around 2015 during that time? My main job was to go and get coffee which seems more difficult than it sounds-"

 

"She was Meyer's chief of staff during her time as the world's most neurotic and egotistical President." Dan summarizes from his phone, feigning fake interest but still sticking to the edge of his seat wondering what it is Valentine knew about Amy that he didn't.

 

Dan didn't really...enjoy it when other people knew things about Amy.

 

It's not like he was jealous by any means (He's not her fucking boyfriend).

 

He just didn't like assholes thinking that they knew her or some weird possessive shit. Besides her family, it makes the most logical sense that he knows Amy pretty damn well (More than she knows herself at times).

 

Why else would he encourage her to take the Jonah job?

 

Because he knew that her talents would be far more useful elsewhere versus her trying to hitch herself to a dying horse-that horse being Selina and her goddamn campaign that was being attacked every other day by the media over some Meyer family bullshit. 

 

Valentine's eyes widen at the mention of Amy's name.

 

"That was Amy Brookheimer?" his eyes widen incredulously and he gives an impressed nod, "Her new makeover makes her look like my fourth wife. I like that, I like that a _lot."_ Valentine's voice goes soft as he begins to stroke his chin, smirking to himself.

 

Gag.

 

The last thing Dan needed to know was that Amy was an image in other men's spank banks-especially old coons such as Valentine who was approximately a cough away from Alzheimer's. 

 

"She and Mr. Ryan used to date a while ago. I can't remember exactly why they broke up but I do know that they were an item for some time." Richard obnoxiously smiles as he looks up from his laptop.

 

Valentine's face falls in hope, trying to soak in that (false) information,

 

"Wait. Blondie is fucking that Overgrown Ringworm?" Valentine's eyes widen in disbelief. 

 

And a light bulb goes off in his head. 

 

Valentine was a fucking asshole-no two ways around that. But, he was an influential asshole who could leverage anyone to getting what they needed and or wanted because of his respected stature in politics. 

 

So, Dan knows what he has to do.

 

"He's talking about me. She and I used to date." Dan tries to act like he's oh-so-annoyed with Richard's oversharing but in all actuality, he's going to use it and exploit it for his benefit. 

 

The respect he could get from Valentine from confirming that he and Amy used to date would be _beyond_ amazing. 

 

Valentine looks away from Richard and studies Dan carefully, eyeing him and his Prada blue suit up and down.

 

"You and Tinkerbell used to shack up?" he tries to hide the impressed tone in his voice.

 

Dan nods proudly at that and sinks deeper into the office chair.

 

He can't help but laugh at the Tinkerbell nickname though. Probably because it's so fucking true. Amy was the foul-mouthed, sexier and more intense version of Tinkerbell (And that's saying a lot because Tinkerbell was on his list as one of the hottest cartoon characters as a kid for twelve consecutive years).

 

"We were a thing for a while. She was more into it than I was but, she stills turns to me for career guidance to this very day. I was the one who was genius enough to get her to ditch the Meyer campaign for the red-hot Ryan campaign." Dan sticks a finger tp his chest proudly.

 

"I'm more impressed with the fact that she was stupid enough to go fuck you versus convincing her to do something she probably was already planning to do." Valentine's demeanor" slumps as he pulls out his blackberry and begins typing on it as if Dan isn't fucking talking to him.

 

"That's not likely." Dan grits out his teeth, "She needed me then and she needs me now with how that turd of a campaign has been going." 

 

Valentine laughs at that, further infuriating Dan. 

 

"From the looks of her now, I can tell that you're not the only asshole who thinks that." 

 

Trying not to lose his cool, Dan just raises an eyebrow at Valentine, challenging him.

 

"And how would you know that?" Dan inquires.

 

Sure, Amy could've easily made the executive decision of ditching Selina's campaign for Jonah's but there was no way she would've done that without _his_ help. 

 

There's no way she would've done half the shit she's done or hell, accomplished without his help. 

 

And fuck anyone (Especially Valentine) who fell for this whole ' _I-did-it-on-my-own'_ routine she was performing for everybody and their mothers. 

 

Dan knew the truth and he could easily tell it to anyone within walking distance of him if he really fucking wanted to.

 

"Tinkerbell is smart. She's successfully trained one of the Twin Towers to a road that could easily have him become the President of the goddamn country. Now between him and Black Elmo, I'd venture to say that a Ryan administration is unfortunately in the cards." Valentine keeps his eyes peeled on whatever goddamn message he's received on his Blackberry.

 

"Her name is Amy." Dan corrects him without even thinking. 

 

Amy's nickname is 'Ames' and that's his nickname and his nickname only. Not 'Tinkerbell', 'Brookheimer' or whatever these horny ass assholes call her during their wet dreams.

 

"And that's all you'll know her as, kid. Take it from me, once she gets that Tower elected, she'll be a hot ticket. And I'm not talking politically." he finally looks up to give Dan a final look over and Dan feels the rage grow at the pit of his stomach.

 

He's Dan fucking Egan.

 

He could fuck whoever he wants, whenever he wants, and however, he wants.

 

And considering the fact that Amy decided to look hot all of a sudden? (Well, she's always been hot to him but, the fact that she was just now embracing that was a miracle). 

 

He didn't even have to stay in the kitchen after their brief meeting to know that he had her practically dripping in her (Knowing her and her look now- thong) and the thought of that got him a little bit too hard. 

 

So, it only makes sense to fuck her, right?

 

* * *

 

  _'What hotel are you at?'_ reads the text Dan had sent her the minute she decided to take a break from her book.

 

She hates how the butterflies in her system suddenly reappear in her stomach and well, other parts as she rereads the message over and over again, making sure that he's implying what she thinks he's implying. 

 

Her mind goes still as her fingers hover threateningly over the keyboard. 

 

She doesn't want to seem desperate (Even though she was just a tad bit horny) by any means because if Dan even senses a whiff of desperation, he'll use it against her and never let her forget it. 

 

She doesn't want to seem sexy because if she does then there's a good chance that he'll make fun of her for it and again, never let her live it down. 

 

Then her mind goes to earlier today. 

 

 _'Oh Ames, I almost offered to help your career, then bang you and tell everybody in the office you're an unstable slut'_ he had told her with a some-what impressed look on his soft features.

 

Dan's never really been the greatest with compliments and while that did sting for a brief second, there's no doubt in her mind that he was checking her out from behind.

 

So maybe-just maybe...he was interested in her again?

 

Not that that was fucking important to her by any means but, she was horny..like really fucking horny, unfortunately.

 

Sure, she had slept with this one reporter from the BBC network a few weeks ago and he was a pretty decent fuck. But besides the irresistible accent and charming looks, it wasn't exactly a heartbreak to leave his hotel room before he woke up the following day.

 

 _'Embassy Suites. Why?'_ she types out and hits the send button without even thinking about it.

 

There's a brief moment where she notices that the words under the text bubble goes from _'Sent' t_ o _'Delivered'_ to _'Read at 7:15 pm'_ all in a matter of thirty seconds and she can't help but feel the smirk forming on her lips as she watches a bubble with three dots appear on the left side of her screen.

 

Then her phone rings to life with an incoming call from none other than Dan himself. 

 

There's that embarrassing moment where she silently freaks out, trying to figure out what to do and why he's calling her...they hadn't spoken on the phone in months and literally just spoke to one another after a few months today only briefly. 

 

Sick of the waiting and butterflies attack her stomach, she decides to answer the phone, against her better judgment.

 

"You're at the Embassy Suites?" she hears Dan's voice on the other side of the phone.

 

She throws her book to the side and moves an arm behind her head and leans against the pillows of the bed comfortable, trying to relax her body (And still managing to somewhat fail such a mundane task).

 

"And you wanted to know because?"

 

She can practically picture him smirking to himself in that goddamn baby blue suit, probably leaning against a wall outside of her hotel room door like a Shitstack Casanova.

 

"You know...catch up, strategize, other stuff," he suggests.

 

And with that, Amy can tell what he's doing. He's dropping his voice into his signature sex-voice to get her wet in the palm of his hand. And from the impact she's starting to feel in between her thighs, she knows that it's working but doesn't want him to know that because again, he'll use it against her. 

 

So, two can play this game. 

 

If he wanted her, he would need to fight for her this time. 

 

"Other stuff? I'm afraid I can't give my time to unnecessary things at this moment, I'm running a Presidental Campaign in case you haven't noticed." she teases him with a playful voice.

 

"Well I _have_ noticed and let me tell you, it's hard to notice when you yourself are looking better than your candidates' approval ratings." 

 

And a laugh stumbles out of Amy's throat at that.

 

"You've really hit your forties, huh?" she teases him, not giving a shit at this point, "Your pick up lines are getting worse and worse." she uses her free hand to stroke her exposed legs herself, craving a touch on her skin suddenly.

 

"Are they working on you?" he offers.

 

"Not really. This one correspondent from BBC has better pick-up lines, including the fact that he says it all in a British accent." she chews on her bottom lip as she leads him on more and more, "Should I give him a ring?" she offers.

 

 _"No."_ he snips at her demandingly, the aggressiveness of his tone kinda turning her on a bit more, "Don't you dare." 

 

Now she's having fun with him, the way she's always wanted to. 

 

Knowing that Dan was getting all hot and bothered over the possibility of someone else fucking her was all the confirmation she needed to know that he wanted her just as bad (If not more) than she wanted him.

 

"Why not?" she feigns innocence, "After we're done strategizing or whatever, I can always kick you out and go to his suite...it's only a few doors down." she lifts her leg in the air and swirls it around in the air, feeling more powerful than ever.

 

"Over my dead body." Dan grits out

 

Amy laughs, her chest heaving up and down as she turns on her side, keeping her phone to her ear, "And get this, his name is _Daniel."_

 

(Okay, so his name isn't Daniel-it's actually Evan but, it's a nice-dig in on her line and payback for his fucking _'Her name is Meagan'_ bullshit he pulled on her ages ago).

 

 _"Funny."_ he grits out with no traces of humor in his voice whatsoever. 

 

"I thought it was funny." she shrugs nonchalantly, "Would you mind getting off the phone, though? I think he's knocking on my door." she fake yawns through her phone speaker.

 

And that's what infuriates Dan.

 

"Tell Doctor Who to keep his cock in his pants. You have plans for tonight," he demands practically spitting in fury.

 

"I do?" her voice goes up an innocent octave, "And what might those plans be Dan?" she inquires of him, bringing her leg down to cross her legs on the bed, clenching in the heat that grows between her legs. 

 

 _"Me."_ he strongly declares as she hears his footsteps begin to speed up in the background, "Text me your room, _now,"_ he demands and she practically jolts upright in surprise at the fact that she actually pulled it off.

 

"Make sure you knock loudly." she speaks in a soft voice, "I'd hate for Daniel to hear you." she teases one last time and hangs up the phone for extra measure. 

 

* * *

 

 

When Dan gets to the hotel, he's practically spitting with fury.

 

How fucking dare she get under his goddamn skin like that by teasing one of her fuck-buddies in front of him like he was so wimpy side-bitch she didn't care about?

 

Between his raging boner, tense demeanor and panting deep breaths. He's surprised his body hasn't gone into shock from the overwhelming feeling that's taken over his body. 

 

Since Amy decided to get him all hot and bothered during their phone call, his entire journey to the hotel was just rage in complete and utter desire. 

 

(He was an inch close from going to the bathroom back at his rental and furiously jerking off before he had left for the hotel but decided not to so he could be on top of his game when he fucked Amy and let her know who's boss in this fucking relationship.)

 

The minute he's off the elevator and starts his way down the unnecessarily long hallway, he makes his way to the front of Amy's hotel room door and takes a few deep breaths before knocking reminding himself who he is. 

 

He's Dan Egan, the only person on this earth who could fuck Amy Brookheimer and have her scream his name. 

 

Then the door opens and he almost (almost) swallows his goddamn tongue in shock. 

 

Instead of the orange dress he had seen earlier or even her signature PENN tee with her shorts, she's dressed in a satin lace two-piece with a babydoll shirt and short shorts in a shade of purple that not only highlights her curves but brings out the color in her eyes.

 

"I....I'm here." he's lost for words and scolds himself for losing his cool composure in front of Amy.

 

She smirks proudly and plays with the door handle on the other side of the door, where she firmly stands. 

 

"I see that." she looks him up and down, taking in the blue suit he was too tired to take off.

 

And they just stare at one another for a minute, taking each other in within the silence.

 

Having had enough of the need of touch on her skin, Amy pulls her hair out of its low ponytail and looks at him demandingly.

 

"Are you going to just stand there and look at me? Because if you are, then I could always call D-"

 

And Dan throws himself onto her lips without a beat missed.

 

Craving his lips and the touch of his fingers more and more, Amy cranes her neck to deepen the kiss and turns her body to slam the door shut which ultimately leads to Dan pushing her body against the wall.

 

And Amy hates how hot she thinks it is.

 

He pulls away from her lips to nip at her neck, inhaling her warmth and smell to himself as he feels Amy's breaths go from cool, calm and collected to frantic, panting and crazy within seconds. 

 

 _"God...."_ A moan stifles out from Amy's throat, vibrating her chest that's trapped against Dan's broad chest, she throws an arm around his neck as she hooks her legs over his waist and uses her free hand to clench his bicep in the other. 

 

Dan nudges his hands into Amy's shorts, using two fingers to push her thong to the side (He was right about the thong) and ever so slightly begin to stroke her clit. 

 

She winces at the feeling and throws her head back against the door with a soft thud against the door as she rolls her hips against his stroking fingers.

 

"Right there, Dan- _oh my god, right there."_ she moans which is practically music to his ears as she feels Amy's hand leave his bicep and begin to fumble with his belt buckle.

 

He stops for a minute to watch her fumble with his pants-the sight so enragingly hot.

 

The craziness in her eyes as her jaw unhinges and she fumbles over and over with the belt buckle.

 

Only she could make undoing a belt so goddamn sexy with that subtle freakiness that settled in every time she got horny.

 

"Need help?" he offers, his chest rising up and down with each breath as he pauses his actions to take a look at her. 

 

She looks up at him, her eyes zeroing in on him like he's the only goddamn man in the world as she tries to stifle back a moan.

 

He removes his fingers from her shorts and mentally gets ready for the mental smackdown he's on the brink of receiving. 

 

He knew it was too good to be true, there was no way that he could get this far with her without this shit happening. Her pulling back the minute he was pulling in.

 

And he was getting sick of it. 

 

But instead, she stands up on her tippy toes and stretches up to whisper in his ear.

 

"I like the beard scruff," she comments and he feels a wicked smile slide onto his face as she pulls away with a look of desire on her soft features as she runs a hand through her hair and passes him and approaches the marble counter slowly.

 

He hums as he nods at that and looks her up and down.

 

"I'm glad you do." he follows her as she turns around and leans against the kitchen counter and looks up at him with those wild sex eyes he knows is only reserved for him and him only.

 

"Any place you'd like to feel it?" he moves his hands to her waist and heaves her onto the marble counter which prompts her to releases a girlish squeal.

 

Her breasts practically bounce in laughter as she settles herself on the counter and throws an arm around his neck, pulling him in close for a kiss. 

 

As their lips move together slowly, she moves her hands to his belt and undoes it quickly as Dan goes quickly makes work of throwing his suit jacket to the side and undoing the buttons of his button-down shirt. 

 

"I think you know where." Amy teases him as she leans back into his ear and softly bites down on his ear gently.

 

He pulls away from her with a wicked grin and tilts her chin back up to place a kiss on her lips as he steps out of his pants and shoes, discarding them to the side without missing a beat.

 

And he knows exactly _where._

 

Sure, watching her be all hot and dominant with him was a real fucking treat. He had a soft (and hard) spot for Bitchy Amy but the sounds she makes when he gets his mouth on her and fingers pumping in and out of her?

 

Heavenly.

 

It's fucking heavenly.

 

And he's certain that there's no sound on planet earth that can compare to the heavy breathing, mewling, pornographic sounds echoing from Amy's throat. 

 

He has no time to finesse or pull out the special moves and techniques he swears by because from the way Amy's grip tightens on his hair, he can tell that she means business and she wants it _now._

 

(He does make time to slap her ass roughly a few times though for extra measure-it's a hidden kink of hers and the wail of pleasure that she shrieks out gets him even more turned on).

 

"Come here, Dan." she breathes out, "Come fucking here, _right now."_ she slaps his arm through pants, trying to control herself (but failing under the touch of Dan yet again).

 

He obliges and watches as she sits up from the counter, her chest heaving up and down as she throws her arms around his neck and practically leaps into his arms.

 

He catches her, enjoying the feeling of her front against his rock hard crotch.

 

"I need you inside of me." she moans, rolling her hips against him and he's never agreed quicker.

 

Amy watches as Dan's eyes lock in on hers and he directs them to the bed and once they've arrived at the bed, he practically drops her on the bed and he slides off his shirt, discarding it on the floor.

 

When he joins her on the bed, Amy pushes him against the pillows and places a chaste kiss on her lips which raises Dan's eyebrows.

 

"You gonna return the favor?" he licks his lips expectantly but Amy laughs at him.

 

"Only if you're nice to me." she covers his mouth her hand and turns her body around so she's facing the wall and she's sitting in between his legs.

 

"You have a condom, right?" she turns around and gives him a stern looking-breaking the sex spell for a minute.

 

Dan nods at that and pulls it from the band of his boxers, ripping open the package and sliding it down his rock-hard erection.

 

"Yeah." Dan musters out and leans his head against the pillows, watching Amy with hungry eyes.

 

Taking that as her cue, Amy slides off her nightgown and throws it to side, leaving her naked as she snakes her hand back, firmly grasps Dan's cock and sets him at her slick entrance. 

 

There's a minute when Dan enters her that it takes Amy a minute to get used to...the overwhelming feeling of it all.

 

A small groan escapes Dan's lips as he watches Amy practically adjust herself on him to her comfort zone, and he moves both of his hands to grasp her ass and gently stroke the soft skin.

 

When they have sex...it's a lot like their arguments.

 

Both of them giving their all, meeting each other with the same, furious energy and doing it so fucking fast.

 

She hates how good he makes her feel.

 

She hates how well they match together.

 

And she hates knowing how good he is at sex.

 

But for now, while they're actually having sex..and the way his irresistibly soft hands stroke her thighs and slap her ass, she loves every goddamn minute of it as far as she's concerned.

 

"Right there, _Ames._ " he encourages her through heavy pants, "Keep fucking going." he gives her ass another slap and ruts deeper into her.

 

The way he furiously ruts in and out of her along with how Amy sits up from her laying position and begins to bounce up and down on his dick just might be one of the hottest things he's seen in a long fucking time.

 

She braces her hands on his legs and continues to bounce herself on him, moaning his name simultaneously and goading him to get her off with a small voice.

 

 _"_ I'm almost there. _Fuck,_ I'm almost there." she encourages him as the familiar pit sets at the bottom of her stomach.

 

He takes it as a challenge and quickens his pace as he feels his own muscles starting to tighten and soon feels a pit summoning at the pit of his stomach (The sight of Amy's ass bouncing and riding him in all of its shameless glory isn't helping him hold out for much longer).

 

He reaches his hands up to tweak her hardened nipples with his steady fingers because he can and he's hell-bent on her getting off before he does. 

 

"You like that?" Dan teases her as he works her nipples in between his fingers and watches her throw her head back in ecstasy as her riding dies down a tad bit and her head drops.

 

"Fuck you, _oh my god._  Amy croaks out as her muscles tighten and she feels herself give in to the overtaking feeling of her orgasm riding through her body and sending shocks throughout her bloodstream. 

 

She feels Dan continuing to rut into her from behind and lays against the bed as he chases his own pleasure.

 

"Keep going, keep going." Amy moans through her orgasm as Dan's ruts go deeper and deeper and his hands place a delicate smack on her ass that makes her quiver in pleasure.

 

(Fuck him for using her kink against her)

 

Then Dan goes over the edge and falls back against the pillows in complete and utter awe. 

 

Sleeping with Amy was always enjoyable, to say the least. But now? The way she took charge and fucked him was so feral and fierce that Dan's never been so horny after sex before like he was now.

 

Usually, it takes him a few minutes to get ready for a second round but goddamn did that blowjob she implied earlier sound pretty fucking delectable right now.

 

He watches as Amy settles herself on the pillow next to him after sliding her nightgown back on and combing a hand through her hair.

 

"You still thinking about phoning _Daniel?"_ his tone is irritated and full of possessiveness as he snakes a hand around Amy's waist and strokes the skin underneath her gown.

 

And she likes it.

 

"If you keep this up, I won't need to call him." Amy bends down and places a kiss against his lips and hums to herself happily.

 

Dan takes a deep breath and traces the hickies forming on her collarbone and the one already stamped on her inner thigh, "Don't cover those up." he outlines them with an index finger. 

 

When she looks down and sees the bruising of Dan's lips on her body, she practically gasps in disbelief and socks Dan in the arm.

 

"You asshole! Jesus, you're such a fucking Caveman." she acts like the thought of him leaving marks on her isn't turning her on but Dan knows her well enough to know that it totally is. 

 

"And you love it." Dan teases her and runs a hand through her hair, inhaling her sweet scent of lavender. 

 

Not wanting to admit to it, Amy just sighs and pretends to dust the imaginary dust from her nightgown and keeps her eyes down away from him.

 

"You're an asshole." she smiles to herself, feeling content and somewhat satisfied in a while.

 

She hated herself for thinking this far but maybe, just maybe there was more to it left that she thought?

 

Maybe Dan knew what he was talking about when he made her get that abortion. Sure, her career had sky-rocketed for the better since then but that's because she doesn't have a baby on her hip and trying to be a single mother (like she had planned) through the midst of all of this. 

 

Maybe this was how it was supposed to be?

 

And maybe this is how they find themselves back to one another?

 

* * *

 

 _"Classic Egan"_  

 

And she couldn't agree more. 

 

Classic, asshole, dickwad, man-whore Egan.

 

And she's not sure what feels worse: having an inch of hope reserved for that asshole or the feeling of rejection from him yet again the minute she decided to open up to him. 

 

And it's not like the funeral goes great by any means.

 

By the end of it, once Jonah has stormed off in anger and Nancy makes a call to the ambulance for Beth, Amy's left waiting for the Mercedes Sprinter to come and pick her up at the curb of the street, the funeral long and far away.

 

And the sad thing, she's not even having the worse day compared to the crazy asses she's shacked up with. 

 

Jonah and Beth lost their dad, Nancy lost a husband (and Cousin) while little Clay got a front row seat to all of the madness of today from Beth losing her shit during the funeral and Jeff screaming obscenities the entire fucking time.

 

She supposes it could be worse. 

 

But right now, it feels like it's the worse. 

 

He used her vulnerability as a weapon against her for the millionth time and it fucking hurt. She knows she shouldn't have trusted that asshole and had given him the fucking benefit of the doubt..but she did and she's so frustrated with herself she wants to throw herself against a fucking wall. 

 

And if Rick doesn't come back with the fucking van in the next twenty minutes, her phone will hit dead and then she'll really fucking die. 

 

Her phone was her lifeline, the one thing that reminded her that she has her personal life isn't the most important thing in the world when in fact her job is. 

 

At this point, she just wants to go and have someone (Whose definitely not Dan) fuck the ever-loving shit out of her. Someone to let her know that she's not alone for a few minutes and that she can feel pleasure and sexy without the help or presence of Dan.

 

 _"He'll never love you, Amy."_ Sophie had belittled her time and time again with this statement, expressing that it would be best for Amy to just give up and start looking for someone else and for the longest of times, Amy had always put her and her negative opinions off. And it pisses her off, even more, knowing that Sophie was fucking right about him from the get-go.

 

If she wasn't at a public event and her job, she's certain she would've fallen into a puddle of hot, furious and snotty tears. 

 

God, how could she be so fucking stupid?

 

"Hey Pumpkin', I'm likin' the sexy campaign worker at a funeral look you're going for." she hears a voice practically hoot from behind her in approval.

 

She doesn't even need to turn around to know who it is.

 

"Go fuck yourself, Dan." Amy closes her eyes and silently prays that he magically disappears within the next three seconds and when he opens his mouth to speak, she knows that her wishing is no fucking use. 

 

Dan chuckles at that and takes a step near her.

 

"Maybe you're nice to me, then later." he winks at her and that's the straw that breaks the camel's fucking back.

 

She's had enough and it's time he's realized that.

 

"Not now, not then, not ever, Dan. You and I are done, end of the story." she strongly declares and diverts her attention to her phone, avoiding his confused glare. 

 

He snorts at that, "Okay, Ames. See you next month, after your second abortion of my kid and your second makeover." he turns his body at that and she doesn't hesitate for a second by forcefully pushing him away from her so hard he almost stumbles to the ground.

 

"Do you hear the shit you say to me?" her voice is tough as nails as her heart races a million miles a minute, "I don't deserve that, Dan. I never have and I never will you piece of fucking shit." 

 

Dan looks at her like she's crazy, "Why are you getting so bothered over this?" he takes a step towards her, "You're the one that signed those fucking papers at the clinic and decided to go all Madonna on us." 

 

"And because of that I don't have feelings?" she feels her tears stinging, "If you knew me as well as you think you do, then you would know that having that abortion was the last thing I wanted to fucking do." 

 

"Then why'd you go through with it?" he puts his hands on his hips, his voice getting stronger, "Why didn't you Man the fuck Up and use your voice like a fucking adult." 

 

"You don't think I tried that?" she blinks at him in disbelief, "I told you I wanted the baby, I told you what I named the baby and you and Selina still forced me to go through with that abortion that I didn't fucking want for the life of me." she puts a hand on her chest, "Not to mention the fact that you're fucking the woman who literally took the baby _out_ of my body." that last part stings her so harshly a jolt is sent through her body.

 

And she hates how his face goes soft at her for a minute. She sees the gears shifting in his mind as he tries to figure out what to say next.

 

"Why didn't you tell me?" he keeps his voice and eyes down.

 

And the anger bubbling inside of her is so overwhelming and she just can't handle it anymore.

 

Before she knows it, her hand slaps Dan across his face, sending a loud noise vibrating her eardrums.

 

"You were too busy fucking some nineteen-year-old with the same name as my daughter, you fucking creep." the words leave her mouth before she can calm herself down, and she feels eyes starting to watch them and she doesn't give a shit anymore.

 

And Dan goes quiet at that. 

 

And she's never felt more relieved at that. The silence of Dan Egan was not only telling but a good relaxation for her the sake and sanity of her mental health.

 

"One of these days, you're going to look up from your fifth heart attack and see me out and about with my kid, living the life I deserved to have before you and the fucking horny hag snatched it away from me in the interest of an election she'll most likely lose. " she grits at him, "Until then,do not call me, do not text me, and do not even speak to me because if you do, so help me god, Dan I'll chop your fucking dic-"

 

"Ms. Brookheimer?" a voice calls her behind her.

 

"What?" she turns in her spot and sees Rick standing there with the Mercedes Sprinter parker directly behind him with the driver seated in the driver's seat.

 

"Is this man bothering you, Ms. Brookheimer?" Rick takes a firm stand in the grass next to Amy and eyes Dan down while keeping a sturdy hand on his gun holster.

 

And from the panicked look on Dan's face, Amy's never been more grateful for Rick and his intimidating yet handsome charm showing up at the best of times.

 

 _"Yes."_ Amy keeps her eyes on Dan, "I want him far away from me at all times, understood?" she turns to Rick who studies Dan closely as Dan takes nervously swallows air.

 

"Understood." Rick nods and puts a hand on Amy's back, ushering her away from Dan.

 

And as their making their way to the entrance of the car, Amy stops for a moment and does something she's been waiting years to do.

 

The only thing that really makes sense at this point. 

 

"Goodbye, Dan." she gives him one last look as Layla awkwardly makes her way over to Dan and he keeps his eyes on Amy in a pleading manner the whole time. 

 

Having had enough, she turns back around and lets Rick escort her into the car without hesitation.

 

And honestly?

 

She should've done this ages ago.

 

 

 

  


	2. epilogue.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was never one to gloat, she never understood why people (Ahem, Dan did it). All her life, from her own goddamn sister to her bosses to her fucking relationships, she had to deal with people smearing their personal successes in her face and tearing her down at every step of the way. Letting her know that she was too fat, too lonely and too bad at her job to ever have any professional or personal successes in her life. 
> 
> Jokes on them, her life was fucking better without them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy fucking hell!
> 
> So, originally this story was meant to be a one and done one shot, the ending was written so the audience could have their own interpretation of what happens next in the story but, the love and support I received on this story alone was so amazing and shocking so I felt like I had to give you guys something special for supporting me!
> 
> So, here it is, the epilogue chapter that was so heavily requested! I hope that this story satisfies you all!
> 
> Make sure to let me know what you think when you're done!

 

> _**"Looking back isn't going to help you.** _
> 
> _**Moving forward is the thing you have to do."** _
> 
> _**-unknown** _

* * *

 

 

Had someone told Amy years ago that she would marry a secret service agent, have two adorable babies with that same exact secret service agent and end up living in one of the most suburban towns of DC with said husband and child, she probably would've had said individual locked up and barricaded from her and all forms of human contact in the Psychiatric Institute of Washington.

 

But, had that same person told Amy that Jonah Ryan would become the official VP on Selina Meyer's ticket, she still would've had the same fucking reaction, but also take her sweet ass as far away from DC as she possibly fucking could.

 

(Okay so, Jonah ended up getting impeached during his third year as Veep and even though she was fresh out of a job thanks to that and Selina not wanting to admit her wrong-doings and offer Amy a job back on her team.)

 

But surprisingly, she's okay. 

 

Not over losing her job because of Selina's fucking conspiracies and Jonah's goddamn idiocy, that wasn't okay with her. But, the other aspects of her life? She was quite fucking satisfied and content with them if she does say so herself.

 

She'd rather take care of her three-story home, one dog, and her two kids under the age of four any day rather than pouring any unnecessary attention into either Jonah Ryan of fucking Selina Meyer.

 

(Okay so she and Rick had a Maid to take care of the house and a repertoire theater of babysitters to handle the kid part but even in the amount of time she does parent, she wouldn't trade that for any political has been in the world.)

 

Now that she had been unemployed for a few weeks, she had the opportunity of doing some things she actually never had the chance to enjoy as she was working in DC for all those years. In the past few weeks, she's actually gotten a chance to really fall back in love with the city since there was nothing absolutely important for her to do during the day.

 

Besides the Chinese and Indian restaurants down the street from her old apartment, there weren't many places she went out to eat when she was working. But now, with all the time in the world, she'll either wait for Rick to come home to fix something up or they'll send the kids with either one of their parents or babysitters for the night and go downtown for an impromptu dinner date or something.

 

It's not like she's some bored housewife by any means though. She hasn't exactly completely settled for domesticity at this point, she's still fielding job offers left and right (Including one from Kemi Talbot that's really caught her eye for the past few days). 

 

She'll never be done with DC, that's the thing. But now, she was just taking a small, much-needed break from it to calm the fuck down and get herself refocused again.

 

(She would be lying though if she was saying that she wasn't going a little stir-crazy in their house. Sometimes it had gotten to the point of her practically cleaning up every single room in the goddamn house before their Maid showed up just to have something to do.)

 

Relaxing has never really been one of her strongest points, unfortunately.

 

She was happy nonetheless though.

 

"Do you wanna do something today?" Rick asks her that morning as they both lay in bed. Her head resting comfortably on his chest as he uses the remote to rifle through all of the channels on their television screen.

 

Amy sighs as her arm wraps around his waist underneath the covers, mumbling to herself incoherently.

 

"Something food related?" Rick's eyebrows raise at her as he turns to look down at her and she gives him a knowing nod.

 

Man, did he know that way to her heart.

 

"Ted's Bulletin has endless mimosas for Brunch and it's near the Meridian Hill Park?" she rests her chin on the back of her hand and looks into his eyes.

 

Rick nods at that and yawns deeply, stretching a long arm over and the bed and wiping his eyes using his free hand as the other softly caress the skin of her hips.

 

"You wanna drop the kids off at my Mom's or call in Avery?" (Avery was their on-dial babysitter).

 

"No, we can bring them." she yawns not too long after Rick does, "I think they'll enjoy the park at least.".

 

"Alright then." Rick sits up underneath the covers, letting Amy roll back over to her designated side on her stomach and she lets herself enjoy the view he's giving her as he pushes the covers off of him and doing a stretching yawn that flexes his irresistibly large biceps that Amy loves to stroke before she goes to bed to have the constant reminder that him and his big muscles are there to protect her and the kids whenever needed it.

 

As she watches him make his way into their large closet, she takes a look at her bedside table at the baby monitor to dictate her next move. Knowing Rick, he's planning to get in the shower right away since he'll take another one later tonight after he's done his intensive nightly workout in their downstairs gym.

 

When she takes a good look at the oddly shaped baby monitor, she sees the HD footage of Audrey; their seven-month daughter, sleeping comfortably on her stomach with a small cover draped over her little body and the image makes her smile because knowing Rick, he probably snuck off in the middle of the night to put a cover over her while Amy was in a deep slumber.

 

When Rick emerges in only his red sweatpants and no-shirt. Amy feels her postpartum hormones starting to submerge and settle at the bottom pit of her stomach, feeling the heat in between her legs.

 

"Are you taking a shower?" she asks innocently, sitting up underneath the covers and letting the thick sheets pool around her waist.

 

Rick nods at that as Amy's eyes zero in on his Avalan Chain armband tattoo and she feels the heat in her legs grew more and more with each passing moment. 

 

(She never knew she'd be a sucker for tattoos but, here she was with an irresistibly hot husband with at least five of them and boy were they sexy as all hell)

 

She hears the shower water start from the bathroom and she smiles to herself, hearing the soft landing of his sweatpants hit their granite tile bathroom floors, picturing him naked in all of his morning glory.

 

"You wanna join me?" Rick's voice offers from the bathroom and she practically (almost) leaps at the opportunity.

 

Good fucking Morning indeed.

* * *

 

One of the things she hates the most about having kids and a husband is the unnecessary fawning from strangers that comes with it.

 

Yes, she knew her kids were adorable, she fucking carried them for nine months and spent ten hours (Or in Colton's case twelve) in labor pushing those little fuckers out, she doesn't need some random stranger stopping her and her family to fawn over her children like their fucking Annie and her chorus of orphan friends.

 

She wasn't Selina Meyer-she didn't prop her child on her hip and give a dazzling smile to every single photographer and blogger insight so they could get hi-def photos of whatever dress Amy was wearing and whatever adorable outfit the kids were dressed in for any news outlets to post about.

 

If anything, she and Rick had opted to keep the kids and their personal lives as guarded as possible. Sure, there were a few posts on Instagram here and there, but nothing too much to the point where Amy felt like the public was apart of her family. She's learned that if you give too much, then they'll expect too much and she should have a say in what the public knows about her.

 

Just because she was a public figure didn't mean she had to be one all the time. And she preferred her life like that, it took more unnecessary stress away and didn't make total and complete perfection an absolute necessity in her life. 

 

So, later that day, when they're walking around Westminister Park, Rick is pushing Audrey's stroller and Amy has Colton (Their three-year-old son) in her arms and she recognizes one of the sleazy bloggers from People Magazine on the outskirts on the perfectly polished park, she turns to Rick with a knowing glance.

 

"Where are they?" Rick replies, his tone thick with concern as he begins scoping at the park and it's perfectly styled park as the crisping, brown leaves flutter all around them and begin to color the bright green grass. 

 

Running a hand over Colton's caramel brown combover, Amy tilts her head to the left side and beckons a side glance to the overweight middle-aged man whose dressed to the twos with a black Addidas sweatsuit and thick black frames. (If you're going to try and be subtle, the least you can do is try to look the part-nothing says magazine blogger than a sweatsuit a size too small and thick black glasses).

 

Rick grumbles at that and steers the cart in the opposite direction, beckoning a palm to Amy so she follows him.

 

"Don't worry about it." Rick shakes his head knowingly, walking towards the soft play and grass area much to Colton's delight.

 

"Park, Mommy. Park." Colton squeals in childish delight that's enough to distract Amy from the fucking perv that's probably getting shots of her jeans to add to the article he most likely has drafted to add the photo of her jeans and website links to similar jean style's for anyone who wishes to 'shop her look!' (Which Amy finds creepy as all fucking hell).

 

"I see that." Amy uses her child's joy as a distraction from the already expected Washington DC creeps and freaks, "Do you want to play with Daddy on the grass?" she offers.

 

Colton gives a warm smile and swings a leg in the air excitedly as Rick sets the brake for the stroller and pushes back the protective screen of the stroller, revealing a big-eyed Audrey who plays with one of her million fucking toys, this time in her hands she has a rubber giraffe nestled in her right hand; Kemi Talbot's team had sent a set of rubber animal toys when the news of Audrey was released to the public. 

 

"Can Sissy play on the _gwass?"_ Colton looks up at Rick with his big chocolate eyes that Amy sometimes had trouble saying no to when Colton was basically a baby.

 

Rick just laughs at that and smiles down at their son and when he looks like that; bright, cheery and smiley, it's hard to believe that he's not the most handsome man on the face of the entire planet.

 

"No, kiddo, Sissy can't play on the grass," he gently corrects the small child and leads him towards the grassy area, pulling out Colton's travel size baseball bat and foam baseball.

 

"Why not?" Colton's eyes get foggy with sadness as he tries to stand on his tippy toes and peer into Audrey's stroller.

 

"Sissy is too small to play on the grass, right now." Amy chimes in and reaches down to unbuckle Audrey from her stroller and lifts her into the air, soaking and taking in the undeniable warmth that the little girl radiates.

 

When Rick offers Colton his baseball bat, the boy all but forgets his little sister and Amy; taking off towards the grassy area and practically dragging his father with him.

 

Amy looks down at Audrey who whimpers slowly and tries to force her fingers into her mouth and the pout on her soft, strong features is all she needs to know that the teething is starting to get the best of her again. It was a nice day, they were all having a nice time together and the last thing Amy wanted to deal with was a screaming baby.

 

"No, no, no." Amy shakes her head and begins to rifle through Audrey's essentials fucking diaper bag (Which was basically the fucking Leviathan for a baby) and locates the purple silicone baby teething toy and hands it to Audrey while making a small shushing sound.

 

She combs a hand through Audrey's curly caramel-brown mane as the girl rests her head on Amy's shoulder and she feels her heart do that weird fluttering thing it does whenever something all warm and domestic happens to her and she doesn't want to squeal in delight like a fucking weirdo.

 

For the next few minutes, after checking out Politico for a few minutes and reading a few more job offer e-mails (There's one from Danny Chung surprisingly and fucking Will of all people, apparently he's interested in running for Mayor and Amy isn't entirely mad at the idea so, she favorites the message). Needing a seat, she located a park bench and bounces Audrey on her hip as she steers the stroller and makes her way over to the wooden bench to take a seat.

 

As she sits down, she gives another look to Rick and Colton who are engrossed in their baseball shenanigans that Amy decides that they're okay and don't need much looking after (Between Rick's Secret Service background and him growing up in the pits of Detroit-she's certain that he's more than able to protect himself just fine).

 

When she's reading Politico, she uses the opportunity to update herself on where each of her offers stands. If she was hitching herself to someone, she wanted it to be a goddamn star who could make it to the top (Without the tantrum like meltdowns of one Selina Meyer).

 

The interesting thing is, she sees potential in a few people. Kemi, for obvious reasons, is looking to be the front-runner for the upcoming election thanks to her political status growing more each day along with the fact that she's done a great job with securing the American people's trust. Then with Will, him recently leaving Furlong would give him enough backing from those who were verbally harassed by their power-hungry bosses and if Amy knew anything, that was a pretty fucking high demographic (Especially in fucking DC).

 

She's so engrossed in the article about Will renting out school buses to ensure that underprivileged students make it to school on time and with a hot breakfast meal catered by Will's wifes' company that she doesn't notice at first when Audrey throws her teething toy to the ground.

 

When she hears the familiar cry of her daughter, she simply uses her free hand to rub her stomach and gently shushes her, insisting that ' _Mommy is reading something important and to continue teething her toy'_. She knows it's useless, considering the fact that she probably can't understand half the shit she's saying but, she knew from the get-go that she never wanted to be one of those parents who dumbed themselves down to speak baby language.

 

But when the cries get more and more furious and demanding, it forces Amy to look away from her phone and at her daughter who kicks her small feet in the air and points at the abandoned toy that lays on the concrete ground. 

 

Fuck, now she has to rifle through Audrey's fucking leviathan to find another teething toy because there's no way in hell that Amy's putting that thing back in her mouth with proper cleaning and disinfectant bath.

 

 _"Aud."_ she groans as she heaves herself off the bench and bends over to pick up the baby toy and turns to drop it in Audrey's bag, "Stop throwing your toys, baby."

 

 _"N-o?"_ Audrey sounds out in questioning tone.

 

"No." Amy shakes her head and takes a seat back on the bench, running a hand through her hair, "No throwing your toys, okay?" Amy takes a chance to fix the sleeves of her baby blue long-sleeved shirt and black leggings as Audrey kicks her feet in protest.

 

She's so focused on getting Audrey to look somewhat decent because by god, did this girl know how to fuck up her appearance in a matter of 0.5 seconds. 

 

She feels an added weight to the bench and she decides that maybe it's time to move over to join Rick and Colton who, from their cheering and boisterous laughs are having the time of their lives playing baseball. She slides her phone into her back pocket and stands from the bench to at least give the stranger a friendly smile but when she sees who it is...the last thing she gives them is a smile.

 

"Hey, Ames." Dan gives her a weak smile. 

 

And she's so fucking surprised by seeing him right there, in his glory, looking like a goddamn fucking mess that she almost (almost) drops Audrey to the ground but luckily, she doesn't.

 

Her eyes rake over his disgruntled appearance and it confused her to the core of just how fucked he looks. His usually gelled to perfection hair is going in several different directions, he's wearing a t-shirt and jeans that make him look like a fucking DC intern recovering from a hangover (But it's the shaggy, dark beard that makes him not look like an intern).

 

"Dan." she eyes him up and down suspiciously, taking a few steps back and holding Audrey so close to her body that if she coddles her any closer, there's a good chance she'll choke the kid out.

 

"What- _what_ are you doing here?" her voice is thick with bewilderment as her eyes continue to rake over him, trying to dictate on whether or not he's actually sitting on the bench, in the park, in the middle of the day on Sunday afternoon.

 

Dan simply shrugs and runs a hand through his fucked up hair, "Life is fucking me over in every way known possible, so you know, the usual shit." he shrugs nonchalantly.

 

And as her eyes study him, she notices his face looks... _puffier_ than usual. Fuck, did he actually _gain_ weight? In all the years Amy had known him, she had never actually known him to have gained any weight if anything, he had gain more muscles in his arms over the years but that's about it.

 

"Oh, well...I'm _sorry_ to hear about that." she feigns; she's not entirely sorry to be quite honest, she just feels obliged to say it at this point because by god, this is awkward as all hell and she wasn't in the mood of having Dan Egan ruin her mood again (It had been at least four years since he had done that last and she was hell-bent on keeping that fucking record.

 

 _"H-i."_ Audrey offers a wave and bright smile that internally makes Amy lose her goddamn mind. Leave it to her fucking kid to be interested by Dan fucking Egan.

 

And the look of confusion on Dan's face is comedic gold because it just shows how fucked up of a state he's in right now. His eyebrows bounce in shock and his body reacts so distinctly that a small chuckle escapes from Amy's throat as she readjusts Audrey on her hip.

 

"This is yours?" he points a finger at Audrey with a raised eyebrow.

 

She looks down at Audrey who offers both of the adults, a sweet, girly smile that exudes warmth and sunshine; something that she and Dan never really prided themselves on.

 

"Yeah, she's mine." she takes a deep breath and combs a hand through her hair, keeping her eyes on her daughter who for some strange reason is infatuated with Dan for some strange reason.

 

Dan nods at that and groans to himself. 

 

Needing to do something with her hands, Amy goes to put Audrey back into her stroller because it's time that she gets ready for her Afternoon nap and Amy's not in the mood to deal with a screaming baby in front of Dan Egan of all people.

 

"She's very....she looks like you." he offers and Amy has to bite back a smirk because that's probably the only way he can compliment her child without turning the corner into a compliment that could go real dark and disgusting real quick.

 

"Thanks." Amy musters out, trying to wrangle Audrey into the seat but she's not having any of it for one moment, instead of cooperating with Amy, she reaches her small hands out towards Dan and she honestly has no idea why.

 

Weren't babies supposed to know the true colors of humans or some shit? (At least, that was an article her mother had sent her but she didn't read it because of course, she didn't). Of all people in the world, Dan Egan wasn't kid-friendly, or adult-friendly, hell Amy's sure he's not even friendly in general.

 

"Is she? Is she okay?" Dan looks up at Amy for guidance, not really understanding why Audrey's so hell-bent on being near him.

 

"No idea." she gives up the battle and returns to her spot on the bench, still firmly sticking on her side, but with Audrey in her lap with her big Bambi eyes locked in on Dan like he's the keeper to every single toy in the goddamn world, "She must..be interested with you." she tries her best to keep the comment appropriate but, it still comes out sounding weird when it leaves her tongue.

 

"Kid's got good taste then," he says so nonchalantly that it almost sounds like 2012 Dan Egan has taken over this weird, Ghost of Dan's Present body. 

 

"Something along those lines." Amy rubs Audrey's back as she leans forward and offers Dan her rubber giraffe and from the way his eyes widen in confusion again, Amy just removes the giraffe from her hands and begins to play with it, entertaining the little girl for a few moments.

 

There's so much she wants to ask him. If she knew anything about Dan, she knows how much he values and cherishes his good looks, if anything it was the main tool in his fucking toolbox. He always prided himself on his expensive ass moisturize and potions to keep him looking in tip-top shape.

 

So what happened to lead him to look like a fucking Hobo now?

 

"Is it hard?" Dan watches her entertain Audrey with her compact mirror for a few minutes. When Amy looks up in confusion, Dan clears his throat to clarify his question further.

 

 _"Parenting_ I mean, is it hard?" his steely eyes zero in on her and she distracts herself with entertaining Audrey because it's all so weird.

 

They don't do eye-contact anymore because there is no them anymore. There is no Dan and Amy or vice versa, he had made it very clear that she was the last fucking thing on his mind and it was fucking time for her to move on from being last on everyone's list.

 

"It's always hard, Dan." she challenges herself and looks him directly in the eyes, letting him know the cold hard truth. "Your needs aren't important anymore because their needs are and it's not exactly for the faint-hearted," she informs him the minute Audrey tosses her compact mirror to the ground.

 

She grits her teeth in frustration as she goes to retrieve the mirror but Dan beats her to it, bending over and handing it back to her grasp without thinking about it.

 

"Thanks." she takes the mirror in her hands and slides it into her jacket pocket and uses her free hand to zip it up.

 

"Why are you interested in parenting all of a sudden?" she can't help herself and her brain takes over her mouth before she can help it. She's genuinely concerned though, wasn't this the same Dan Egan that practically pushed into the abortion clinic to vacuum their baby out of her vag and then turned around to fuck the woman who quite literally removed their baby from her?

 

Dan takes a defeated sigh and leans his head against the bench, looking up to the sky with heavy eyes.

 

"Leyla is pregnant." his voice is 

 

Ah, Leyla. Good ol', fucking Leyla. 

 

Amy's not entirely sure how to react because again, this is the same woman who took their baby out of Amy and something about that just made the pill way tougher to swallow. 

 

She's not jealous though by any means. She has her own life (That quite frankly, she prefers over any life she could've had with Dan), her own husband, her own kids, and her own career. She wasn't interested in being apart of the fucked up files of Dan Egan anymore. That phase of her life was fucking over.

 

"Wow. Congratulations." she offers as Audrey reaches out for Amy's hand and begins to play with it absent-mindedly, "That sounds great, Dan."

 

He grumbles at that and slaps his hands on his face in a dramatic fashion. Oh Dramatic Dan, how she hasn't missed that over-the-top musical theater bullshit he used to pull whenever something in his life doesn't go the way he wants it to.

 

"It's not." he groans from behind his hands, "I told her that the best thing to do would be to abort it because she's a fucking abortionist and we wouldn't have to pay for the session if she just did it herself and got it over with."

 

Ah, what a beautiful choice of words, how could she have ever let him go?

 

"And I take it she didn't handle that suggestion well?" Amy tilts her head to the side as Dan finally removes his hands from his face and his chest rises up and down with each passing breath that heaves in and out of his mouth.

 

Dan rolls his eyes and wipes his eyes, "She kicked me out of the house and won't answer her goddamn phone because the fucking fetus has her bending over backwards doing whatever it wants her the fuck to do.".

 

It's not until Audrey releases a girlish squeal that Dan's eyes land on the child in panic, remembering that they're not alone and his eyes practically bugle out of it'ss sockets.

 

"Sorry. I forgot that-"

 

"Don't worry about. Her mom is a campaign manager and her father is a secret service agent, she's used to people talking about their views on abortion in colorful language over her head by now." she holds a hand up to Dan, calming him down.

 

And it's not like she's lying. The kids were growing up in Washington DC where both of their parents were heavily involved in politics, by the time the kids most likely hit middle school, there'll most likely be nothing discussed in the locker rooms that phases them.

 

Dan's face drops at the mention of Audrey's father and she relishes in it. For all those years, of her pining after him and him using it to his full advantage, she finally feels like she has an up on him and boy did it feel good.

 

She was never one to gloat, she never understood why people (Ahem, Dan did it). All her life, from her own goddamn sister to her bosses to her fucking relationships, she had to deal with people smearing their personal successes in her face and tearing her down at every step of the way. Letting her know that she was too fat, too lonely and too bad at her job to ever have any professional or personal successes in her life. 

 

Jokes on them, her life was fucking better without them.

 

"I haven't been home in almost twenty-four hours, she's starting to throw my clothes out of the house and acting like a psychotic bitch because I just don't want a kid." he mutters in disbelief, "How could she fucking do that to me?"

 

Because she's smart and you deserve it. 

 

She turns around to check in on Rick and Colton who are too busy perfecting Colton's baseball swing that Amy decides that they're fine for the time being and returns her attention back to Dan.

 

"She knows what she wants, Dan." she shrugs her shoulders like it's obvious because it fucking is, "You can't go around life expecting women to listen to you because you talk louder than them or because you feel as though you have power over them." she looks at him like he's crazy because, _oh yeah,_ he fucking is.

 

"But it's my kid too, Amy." he protests like it mean something, "If it's my kid too, don't you think I can have a say in what she chooses to with it?" he looks at her pleading for validation, the way he used to do all those years ago back in the EEOB when he was about to embark on some batshit crazy plan he had thought up in his head and needed Amy to join him for the ride.

 

She had hoped that after their little Pregnancy and Abortion incident, Dan would fucking learn how these whole men controlling women ideas and quotas is just complete and utter bullshit and that forcing a woman to do something she doesn't want to do never ends up working out. 

 

"No woman wants a middle-aged white guy telling her what and what not to do with her fucking body, okay?" she says with her voice thicker and more determined than ever, like she really believes what she's saying and she's proud of herself for it because she does believe what she's saying and it's time Dan knows that.

 

He doesn't respond as quickly as she expects him too in all honesty, he still seems shell-shocked at the whole debacle. For all she knows, he could be constructing a plan on how to remove his precious skin-care potions and products before Leyla can get to them and Amy doesn't blame herself for praying that she gets to them before he does. 

 

Maybe it's time Dan experiences a loss for something he deeply cares about. 

 

(She's dealt with so many losses in her life, it only seemed fair for him to have one compared to her million)

 

She halfway expects Dan to get up and storm off in a fury (The typical way he handles a situation when things are out of his control and don't go his way) but she's surprised to see him stay seated in the same spot without moving a muscle and taking a few glances at a playful Audrey who pays with the bracelets stacked on Amy's arms in intrigue.

 

"So what do you suggest I do?" he throws his hands up in defeat, "Go start a fucking registry or some shit? Is that the only way I'll be let back into the house I paid for? Agreeing to have a kid I don't even want?" 

 

And she's not even faking the feeling of disappointment she feels surging through her fucking bloodstream. For a long time, she felt like the Dan Egan she was talking to wasn't the Dan Egan she first met all those years ago in Ohio or even the one she saw in Hallowes's office. It was like he was replaced with the worst possible version of himself possible and she couldn't exactly blame herself for running the fuck away from him the minute she saw the opportunity to do it.

 

"Man the fuck up and say something. She's relying on you to be there because for some alien reason, she trusts you and the poor girl probably loves you but if you're not ready for this or you don't want it, you let her know now before it's too late and you force her to perform an auto-abortion on herself because you're too fucking scared to confront your feelings about all of this." the feelings and anguish of the past few years leaves her mouth before she can control herself.

 

She stands up from the bench and places Audrey into the stroller without a second thought, ignoring the small wails of protests coming from the little girl as Amy buckles her in as a distraction from Dan's eyes burning in on her.

 

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you're mad." he teases her with a mocking grin that's more than enough to piss Amy off all over again and if it wasn't for the number of people in the park, she definitely would've slapped him again (As if that didn't stop her at Jonah's dad's funeral) but, since her kids are present and they're in a public area, she chooses not to slap the everloving shit out of him even though he really deserves it.

 

(Even though that one slap felt amazing and oh so relieving, Dan deserves way more than just one slap after the amount of shit he's dragged her through over the years of their relationship)

 

 _"Dan."_ she starts and takes a deep breath to calm herself down, "What you did to me was inexcusable, you're lucky that I'm even talking to you right now." she gives him a stern look that indicates that she's not fucking around anymore.

 

"C' mon, Ames." he sighs dramatically, "You know me, I was just doing what was right for you." he beckons a hand wave around her, indicating that without his bullshit actions and shitty personality none of Amy's success, including her husband and children would've been possible.

 

And it's such a bullshit claim that Amy can't help but laugh straight in his face, the way she's dreamt of doing all her life, the way he deserves it. 

 

"Wow, you still are the biggest piece of shit, huh?" she shakes her head as she laughs gently to herself, adjusting Audrey so she's somewhat comfortable in her stroller and hands her a new teething toy.

 

Usually, Dan would just shrug that off and respond with his own clever response. But now, he just sits there sulking in his sorrows with a strained look of discomfort and pain on his face.

 

And she doesn't feel bad whatsoever about not feeling bad.

 

In perfect timing, the hurricane known as her son crashes into her legs, chattering up a storm about just how awesome playing baseball with Daddy on the grass was and she wishes for the life of her that she had a secret camera recording Dan's reactions to everything happening all at once.

 

"Mommy! I hit the ball, did you and Sissy see?" he tugs on Amy's hand demandingly with a grin that's all Rick's boyish charm and good looks and it's so adorable to see those same features she recognizes so well on her husband on her son.

 

"I did." Amy feigns, bending down the fix Colton's zipper jacket, "Did you and Daddy have fun?" she ruffles her son's neatly cut hair as she stands back to her full height and the little boy begins babbling on and on about god knows what.

 

But it's so cute Amy doesn't want to stop him even though she's certain this conversation will continue in the car on the ride back home.

 

She ignores Dan because, at this point, it's what he deserves. He's always believed himself to be responsible for her and her success and sure, he's given her a push in a direction a few times, he's never explicitly helped her get to where she is now.

 

She's happy, healthy, married with two kids and about to take on one of the brightest stars in DC and she knows for a fact that Dan had nothing do with any of it and that's what felt good. 

 

"You okay, babe?" Rick approaches her from behind, talking to her but really starring fucking daggers into Dan and it's totally worth it seeing the priceless look of complete and utter fear in his eyes. 

 

Amy smiles warmly at Rick as she bends down and lifts Colton into the air, handing him off to Rick and sneaking a small but passionate kiss on Rick's soft lips right there in front of Dan.

 

"Never, better." she takes a step back and removes the brakes from Audrey's stroller and turning to give Dan a final look.

 

From the look of pain in Dan's eyes, she can tell that he wasn't expecting this from her. He wasn't expecting her to proudly throw her domesticity in his face when he was at his lowest point. He wanted her to do what she used to do and go out for drinks and get fucked over by him physically that night only for him to mentally and literally fuck her over with a woman half his age the following morning.

 

But she's done with that. 

 

She deserves better and she had better now.

 

And that's what she fucking deserves and she can't exactly say the same for Dan.

 

"Mommy who is this?" Colton looks up from Rick's shoulder expectantly with his chocolate eyes, waiting to be told on who this mysterious person to him is. From the look on Rick's face, Amy can tell that he's mentally and physically prepared to kill Dan with the fucking flowerbed resting comfortably next to all of the benches in the park and even tough Amy's certain he could do it, she doesn't rely on him to protect her from him this time. 

 

"Nobody baby, just a random stranger." she feigns, making sure to look Dan in the eye the minute she says it and doesn't feel bad for the feeling of triumphant she feels in her chest. 

 

"Goodbye, Dan," she says one last time and it's probably the best feeling in the whole damn world.

 

The last time she said this exact phrase to him, she had nothing. All she had was a nice Donna Karen dress on and a broken fucking heart from none other than Dan himself, saying goodbye then felt like the only thing to do at that point because she just couldn't do it anymore. 

 

Now, she has everything she's ever wanted and more.

 

And with that, she and Rick push (or in Rick's case, carry) their kids away from the park and to their car, getting ready to head home and leave Dan Egan and his depressed ass at the fucking park and guess what?

 

She didn't feel bad for it whatsoever.

 

What could she say?

 

It's what he deserves. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure to leave a comment and kudos!
> 
> It's greatly appreciated and heavily encouraged!

**Author's Note:**

> Make sure to leave a comment and or kudos!
> 
> It's heavily encouraged and greatly appreciated!


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